I know you guys have all been pins and needles waiting for the results, and I'm sorry I've taken so long to post them! It's been a long, emotional day, to say the least. But (finally) here's the news we've all been waiting for...
My beta HCG level this morning was 23. Yes, people, that means that I am p-r-e-g-n-a-n-t! (Happy dance! Do the happy dance!) HOWEVER...my level is considered low for this stage in the game (Dr T would like around 50), which could mean nothing...or it could mean I am going to miscarry.
As heartbreaking as it is to think of that possible outcome, I am thankful that God has gotten us this far. I have never in my life been able to say I am pregnant, and it still sounds foreign to me now! God has enabled me to feel (even if for a short while) what it is like to have something growing inside me...and the feeling is indescribable! So, although I am hesitant to celebrate too much too soon, I am praising God for the beautiful blessing He has given my husband and I today!
Now, I'm not gonna lie...today has been a doozy. I have been through many emotions in such a short time frame, many of which I would like to never feel again. But the one emotion I am clinging to is hope. I am trying my hardest to be positive, optimistic, and hopeful about our second beta, because although my level is "low", I know my God is much bigger than any number! My God is in charge of this entire situation, and He already knows the outcome. He can completely change the direction of this path in the blink of an eye if He wants to. I can't, but MY GOD can. I am praying fervently that He continues to grow this blessing into a beautiful, healthy baby...but if it is not in His will for us to be parents yet, I pray He blesses us with the peace, comfort, and love to get through this loss. Please continue to pray with me!
So, the next step is for me to go back Wednesday morning to have my level rechecked (Dr T would like to see them at least rising, if not doubling by then). You know what that means?? You guessed it: more waiting and agonizing over the call Wednesday afternoon! Ugh---this is the most nail-biting TWW ev-errrr!! But if God wants to take a little longer to perfect my miracles, then so be it! Take all the time you need, Lord! :)
*Side Note: For those of you who are friends of mine or my husband's on FB, please do not post any comments about these results on our walls. Feel free to send messages, texts, emails, or leave comments though! We are wanting to wait to make it "FB official" until we know everything is headed in the right direction! Thank you all!
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