"But if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree 'Be uprooted and planted in the sea', and it would obey you." -Luke 17:6

Friday, September 7, 2012

My New Motto

So the last two days have been a tad bit stressful around here...

It started when I received a text from my mom at 1:30am Thursday morning saying my dad was being admitted to the hospital because he was having heart palpitations and getting very dizzy, even when he was lying down.  (He has had those palpitations for some time now, but the doctor could never figure out what was causing them and was never able to actually see them on the heart monitor.)  She had taken him to the ER and they were able to capture his strange heart rhythms, with rates ranging from 155 to 37 (yikes).  They decided to transfer him to another hospital where his cardiologist could see him.  She included the words, "I don't want to alarm you..." in the text, which, of course, alarmed me! Needless to say, it took a while for me to go back to sleep.

She then called me at 5:30am to let me know he was safely in his room and what they had already given him medicine wise and what they were planning on doing until the cardiologist could get there in the morning.  She told me she would keep me updated on how he was feeling and what the doctor said.  I hung up feeling more uneasy than after the text, and had to take a minute and give it to God. He placed this simple phrase on my heart, which I am now adopting as my new motto: "I can't, but God can".  After saying a prayer and silently repeating these words over and over, I began to feel that peace that only comes from the Lord...it's amazing what talking to the Father can do for you!

As it turns out, my dad needed a pacemaker to help keep his heart rate from dipping too low, and medications to keep the rhythm "normal" and within a safe range.  He had the pacemaker placed today, and (PTL) is feeling much better now!  He should go home sometime tomorrow if everything looks okay, and he will just have to be out of work and wear a sling to keep him from displacing the pacer for a few weeks.

Thinking about it now, after all this time of not being able to figure out what the problem was, God knew what it was the whole time.  He knew that my dad would have to go through all those dizzy spells, all of those tests at the doctor's office, this ER visit and admission to the hospital, to pin point what needed to be done.  He guided the surgeon's hands to correctly place the pacemaker that would fix the problem.  Even when we have no clue what is wrong or what to do, God does.  This leads me back to my motto: "I can't, but God can".  We can't see His ultimate plan, but He can, and that's all that matters.

To add to the stress level, I had a mini freak-out after my appointment with Dr T this morning.  (I know, shame on me, but I'm only human! lol)  My lining measured at 6.1mm, whereas it was 7.2mm just two days ago.  Um, hello?! That's the wrong direction!  The u/s tech and nurse didn't seem alarmed, though, and told me Dr T would look at my labs results and be calling me later with orders.  I went ahead and made an appointment for Monday morning, and I left feeling a little down because things were going so well!  What if things got cancelled...AGAIN?

After a few minutes of moping, I suddenly felt ashamed of myself.  What happened to trusting 100% in God's plan?? This, too, was a part of His plan, and something that He was totally in control of.  I started praying that God forgive me for my momentary lapse of sanity (lol) and that He would continue His work in me, even if that meant a slight set-back.  Again, I quoted my new motto: "I can't, but YOU can, Lord".  I went off to work, vowing to leave all my worries at God's feet and my future in His hands.

I got the call from Denese around lunchtime...with great news!  Dr T was not at all concerned about the measurement of my lining, since it still looked "plush" and thick, and my estrogen level was perfect.  Although he adjusted my medication a little (I add another Estrogen pill to the mix, making 8mg), he said I didn't have to come back in Monday and everything was a go for next Thursday's transfer!  Oh man, that was music to my ears!  I had to take a second and praise the Lord for His awesomeness!  God is SOOO good!

So, even after all of the "issues" of the last two days, I've found this to be absolutely, without a doubt, 100% true, 100% of the time: "I can't, but God can".  Repeat that to yourself when you're in a tough situation, when you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, when things get a little stressful, or when you just need a reminder that God is in control...I promise, you won't be disappointed! ;)




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