Question of the Week: Am I Nervous??

Tomorrow is "T minus two weeks" day---can you believe it???  Ahhhh!  Eeeeeek!  OMG!  Holy smokes, Batman!

Whew, sorry!  Had to get all that excitement out! I'm good now. lol

Since the big day is quickly approaching, I have had a lot of people ask me if I'm nervous or scared about what the outcome of the FET will be.  The answer is simply this: nope!  This reply always comes to me so quickly, which seems odd given this is such a life changing event, right?

Well, I searched my heart to find a good description of how I am feeling and why I am not at all worried about lies ahead, and this is what I found: I believe in a God whose plans are much bigger, much more complex than my own...a God that has seen me through so many obstacles already and continues to lead me down this path...a God that loves me unconditionally and wants nothing but the best for me.  I wholeheartedly trust and serve a living God who is carrying out His plan for me right this very moment.  In doing this, He has stripped away all of my worries and replaced them with never-ending peace and the knowledge that He is all seeing, all knowing, and all doing.  How can I be anxious or afraid when I know who is running the show here?! 

Man oh man, it always gives me glory-bumps just thinking about how magnificent our Lord is!  I could sit here and talk about it all day, buuuuuut...my husband is about to eat the throw pillows, so I'd better go whip up some dinner for him.  I can't let my Future Baby Daddy starve, now can I? ;)

Before I go, I wanted to share two lovely verses I came across while in the book of Psalm today...do you want to hear them?  Good---I thought you might! :) The first is found in chapter 143, verse 8, and it says, "Let the morning bring me the word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in You.  Show me the way I should go, for to You I lift up my soul".  The second is chapter 112, verse 7: "He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord".  I think those verses say it all!

Home Again!

That's right--we've made it back safe and sound!  PTL!  It's been a looooong day, so please forgive me in advance for a short and slightly boring post.  ;)

We had a wonderful time over the last couple of days...we just wish we had more time there!  (Isn't that what we all say when our vacation is over?? lol)  We did all of the "tourist-y" activities: visited Alcatraz, rode a cable car, saw Lombard St, spent a day in Napa Valley, and rode over the Golden Gate Bridge (just to name a few).  Our days were definitely busy but fun-filled!  Now back to reality...booooooo!

There were no problems with my Lupron shots while we there.  Thank the good Lord I didn't get pestered about carrying the medication and syringes on the plane with me at either airport, and I was always able to find a restroom when it was time to take it every day!  (I started taking it at 6pm here, and then had to adjust the time for the time change, so I was taking it around 3pm over there...usually in the middle of our adventures.)  Now I do have to admit...injecting my stomach while in a dingy, gross bathroom stall is not my idea of a good time, but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do!  All I can say is God bless whoever invented alcohol prep pads and little bottles of hand sanitizer! lol

As for my dosage of Lupron, I started cutting the dose in half yesterday, so I'm now taking 5 units every night.  Once I am seen in the office this coming Friday, they will adjust it, if needed, based on my labs and ultrasound (to make sure my ovaries are staying calm and uterine lining is thickening up nicely).

I finished the round of BCP's for this cycle Friday night, and started a round of antibiotics, Zithromax, that same night.  (Dr T switched this from Doxycycline because it made me feel so blah last time, and so far I've had no side effects, which is a blessing!)  These pills are just to make sure I don't have any underlying infection before things get underway; I will finish them up on Tuesday night.

Well, guys, that's all for tonight.  I'm sure a very pleasant jet-lagged feeling will accompanying me to work tomorrow, so I'm going to be proactive and head to bed a tad bit early. ;)

P.S. T-minus eighteen days!!  Eeeeeeek!

So Much To Do and So Little Time!

Ahhhh!  Where did the day go??  I'm gonna have to make this muy pronto because I'm running around like a headless chicken right now trying to get things ready to go to the airport!

My first shot of Lupron (10 units) went great last night (once I FINALLY got the medication...more on that at another time); no bruising, swelling, or pain!  PTL!  I have everything packaged up to take with me on the trip...praying TSA doesn't give me a whole lot of grief about having syringes/medication with me, but I am not risking putting them in my checked bag and then it getting lost on the way to Cali!  So if it means spending a few extra minutes with the super-personable security personnel, that's what I'm gonna do! Wish me luck! ;)

Watch out San Francisco---I'm headed your way, and I'm pumped full of hormones! Don't say I didn't warn you! lol 

Just Another Manic Monday

Wheeeeeeew.  I'm pooped.  One crazy day down, only one more to go and I'll be headed to the west coast with my love for a little R & R!  I still have lots to do to prepare for the trip, but I'm soooo excited for Wednesday to get here!

What else I am super excited about??  Lupron injections!  Yes, you read that correctly.  I'm actually eager to start my shots again, because every shot I take brings us that much closer to our dream: a baby!  So bring on the nightly phone reminders, the bee sting of the medicine going in (Lupron is actually the least painful of all the injectables, so it's not that bad, but not fun either!), and the belly bruises---I'm ready!

Ok, sadly, my few moments of relaxation are up.  I have a few more things to accomplish before I go to bed, and tomorrow is another busy day, so I'd better get back to work!  I'll try to check back in tomorrow night to let y'all know how the shot went.  Keep those prayers coming, please! :)

Very Inspiring Blogger Award

As you can probably tell by the title, today's post is going to take a small detour from the infertility journey and instead talk about the Very Inspiring Blogger Award.  I was incredibly touched (and to be honest, quite humbled) to receive a comment this week from a sweet friend, Erin Berky from Not Your Average Widow, telling me that she nominated me for this awesome award! Here's a little more about it...

In accepting this award, I have to follow a few "rules", which are:

1. To thank the person who nominated me and link back to their post.
2. List seven interesting things about myself.
3. Nominate seven other blogs that inspire me.
4. Leave a comment on each of their blogs telling them they've been nominated.

I feel so blessed and honored to have someone be moved and inspired by my blog, even more so knowing that this nomination comes from such an amazing person!  I've known Erin since "back in the day" (yes, I just busted out the "geriatric-onics", lol) when we were in middle and high school.  I always admired Erin for her breath-taking beauty, intelligence, and quiet confidence.  Although we were a grade apart, we did have several mutual friends, one of whom she ended up marrying shortly after high school.  She and Bryan were absolutely perfect for each other, and you could feel the love radiating off them when you were in their company.   He served in the Air Force as an EOD staff sergeant, and they lived overseas for several years before finally moving back to the states and having their beautiful son.  Sadly, after six years of marriage, when their baby boy was only eight months old, Bryan was killed in action in Afghanistan.  Erin had to live every wife and mother's worst nightmare: to lose your best friend, your soul mate, and the father of your child.  To think about it still makes my heart ache for this sweet, sweet lady.  But instead of letting the sorrow consume her, she decided to reach out to other widows and share how she has gotten through this trial.  Her blog shares her ups, her downs, her journey as a single mom, her faith as a Christian, and her unconditional love for her husband.  She is truly an exceptional, Godly woman, and someone I look up to on so many levels!  Thank you, Erin, for sharing this award with me!

Oh man, now comes the tricky part...listing seven interesting things about myself.  They might all just sound "weird" rather than "interesting", but I'll do my best!

1. I am majorly OCD. Not in the knock-on-the-door-five-times-before-you-enter or wash-your-hands-till-they-bleed kind of way, but in my own quirky way. You may already know this from my blog, but you may not understand the severity of it...here's a few of my compulsive behaviors:

a) I cannot stand for drawers, doors, or cabinets to be left open.  I will walk across the room just to close a drawer that might be open a crack.
b) I wipe my cups and straws after every sip because I don't like to think that there might be chapstick residue, food, or spit on it.
c) I apply chapstick way more than I probably should...we're talking at least twenty times a day.  I always have a backup tube in my pocket or purse.  (I really should buy stock in it, lol.)
d) My closet is organized by style of clothing (tanks, short sleeve, long sleeve...you get the picture), and my pantry is organized by food types (side dishes, breakfast items, canned foods, etc).
e) Every single item in my house has a set place.  If it's new, it will quickly be designated a place.  Trust me, I know when things have been moved, and I cannot rest until they are put back where they belong.

2.  I have a "thing" about nails.  I can't stand to see someone biting their nails, picking at their nails, or to even get a manicure.  (And, of course, I marry someone who bite his nails like he's on trial! lol)

3.  I am a hair-twirler.  Always have been, always will be.  Sometimes I have both hands going (that's a real talent, I tell ya).  I suppose it's a stress reliever, although I do it even when I'm not stressed at all.  Perhaps it's linked to my OCD?  Who knows!

4.  I have a serious caffeine addiction.  Even though I stopped drinking it for so long for the beginning of the IVF process, all it took was one cup of my mother-in-law's coffee and I'm hooked again!  Don't worry, I'm going to stop again before the transfer--I promise! ;)

5.  I collect spoons from different states/countries that I've visited. I haven't gotten a spoon from every place I've visited--sometimes I forget.  So far I think I have fifteen or so, but my traveling days aren't over yet!

6.  I have the memory of a demented ninety year-old.  No lie.  And it's getting worse!  I can be in the middle of a very intense discussion and completely forget what I am talking about.  I think this has to do with my OCD's and the fact that my mind just doesn't stop, so I constantly have five or so thoughts/lists running through my head at once.  (I blame everything on my OCD's, can't you tell?  I can't help it...it's a habit.  It's my OCD.  Bahaha, sorry!)

7.  I like to crochet in my spare time.  (Perhaps I AM a ninety year old woman?? lol)  I learned the basics from my mom and then my grandmother helped me to perfect my skill before she passed away.  I can make hats, scarves, blankets, pot holders, and (my favorite) props for newborn photography.  I few years ago I started to sell these items and was able to save enough money to buy an elliptical...we're talking more than a hundred different items in about a four month time period.  Needless to say, I was a little crocheted-out by the end.  So now I just do it for fun and maybe the occasional small order for a friend or coworker.

Now it's time for me to name seven other bloggers that inspire me.  To be entirely honest, I don't keep up with a lot of blogs (I have a hard enough time keeping up with my own! lol), so I can only name the three that I do visit.  I hope I'm not messing up the "rules" of the Blogger Award--sorry if I am! I do plan on checking out some of those that were mentioned in Erin's post though, so hopefully I can dive a little deeper into the blogging-world :) But for the time being, here is my list of inspiring blogs:

1.  As mentioned before, I LOVE Erin's Berky's Not Your Average Widow.  A-maz-ing.

2.  Anna Weaver's A Newfound Treasure.  Anna is from Charleston, South Carolina, and married a friend of mine from back home in Florida.  They now live back in South Carolina, and have two adorable little boys, Hudson and Avery.  Her husband is a Children's Director at Newspring Church, and Anna is an awesome stay-at-home mom, incredible photographer, and lifestyle blogger.  A few words/phrases I would use to describe her are: woman of God, gorgeous, crafty, fashion-savvy, and totally hip-n-cool-n-down-with-the-411! lol Her blog is definitely stalkable, because you never know what she's going to post about...fashion, DIY tips, crafts, interior decorating---it's all addictively interesting!

3.  My friend Niki Kirchoff's site, called Niki's Blog.  I have blogged about Niki before, in my post called, "Saying Goodbye Is Never Easy...".  If you haven't read it yet, please do, because it describes our relationship, her own personal trials, and what a marvelous person, friend, mother, wife, and Christian she is.  Then go check out her blog, which takes you through her battle with Hodgkin's Lymphoma. She hasn't updated it since her last round of chemo in January, but what she has written so far is so uplifting!  It really makes me think twice before I complain about what I'm going through!

So that's it!  I have tucked this award away in my heart, and will cherish it always! :) Thank you again, Erin, for the nomination, and thank you to all of my readers for keeping up with my ramblings on a regular basis! lol  I love each and every one of you, and I am so blessed to be able to share my life, my trials, and God's grace with you all!

In Just ONE More Month...

...I may have a little one growing inside me!!  The transfer is only thirty-one days away--can you believe it??  I can't!  Our dream of being parents may actually come true, and I am...hmmm...what's the word.....oh, I know: ECSTATIC!  Eeeeek! :)

As far as treatment goes, I am still taking the BCP's, which end next Friday (the 24th).  Next Tuesday night (the 21st), I will start the Lupron shots (starting with 10 units every night), which will last through September 7th.  I'll have to take a few more pills before then, but I'll go through those once I actually start them to save you some confusion with all of these dates and medications. Lord knows it confuses me!  Thank God Dr T's nurse gave me a calendar to go by!

One more exciting tidbit of info to share before I go enjoy dinner with my hubby...we're going to San Francisco next week!  Whoop whoop!  Our anniversary is on October 17th, and we usually take a nice long trip to celebrate another glorious year together (well, they've all been glorious to me! lol), but this year we have to stay in state around that time due to Dr T's stipulations after the transfer (no traveling out of state during the first trimester--just in case something happens I can get back to my OB quickly).  So we're taking advantage of my freedom while we can! lol Because I've taken so much time off work recently, I am only taking a few days off for this trip, so we will leave next Wednesday night and come back on Sunday.  I am so excited to be able to share a few days alone with my sweet husband and rest up for the transfer.  It's hard to think that this may actually be our last big trip together before we become parents!

Unfortunately, since the transfer was bumped up a week, so was the date to start the shots...and that means I have to take nightly injections the entire trip!  Booooooo! Buuut, I am trying to remember to look for the blessings in everything, and I know the inconvenience will be oh-so worth it if we end up getting pregnant this cycle!  So I will pack up my Lupron and supplies, set the timer on my phone, and inject myself (in the bathroom, of course) wherever we may be!  Anything for my sticky little bean! ;)

Well, that's all my news (for now)!  Stay tuned for more updates as the countdown continues and our FET gets closer!

Wowzers!

Here's my PTL moment of the day: I logged onto my blog site and noticed the number of pageviews has hit three-thousand!  God is truly at work here, people! 

Whenever I started this blog, my goal was to share my faith with others and encourage those who are going through trials, whether it be with infertility or something else entirely.  It was a leap of faith; I never thought it would be viewed by a hundred people, much less three-thousand!  From what the blog statistics say, there are readers not just all over the country, but all over the world (including Germany, Russia, and South Africa)---how amazing is that?!  That just goes to show that the Lord can use faith as small as a mustard seed and grow it into something so much bigger! 

Now, please don't think I'm trying to toot my own horn by sharing these statistics, because that's not my intention at all.  This blog was meant to build the Heavenly Father up, not myself.  I just want to share how good God is, and how far the branches of His ministry can extend! Whatever "success" this site has is merely "God working in me, giving me the desire and the power to do what pleases Him." (Philippians 2:13) 

With that said, I also want to say thank you all for reading my blog.  Thank you for the love, support, comments, emails, and prayers!  Just knowing that God is using me in such a mighty way brings a smile to my face and makes my heart swell with joy!  I pray that He continues to speak through me, to touch others, and to grow His ministry---however He sees fit!  (And if this includes blessing my husband and I with a child in the process...that would be awesome, too! lol) :)

T Minus 41 Days...

...till the FET!  I cannot wait until that day, when we will lay eyes on our future baby (or babies) for the last time before the transfer, welcome them into what will hopefully be their home for the next nine months, and then let the Creator continue His miraculous works in me!

I read this powerful verse today, and will definitely be holding it close to my heart on the day of the transfer: "Whatever I am now, it is because God poured out His special favor on me--and not without results.  For I have worked very hard...but it was not I, but God's grace working through me." (1 Corinthians 15:10) How appropriate and awesome is that verse??  God's word never ceases to amaze me!

Now...time to start BCPs tomorrow night!  Yaaaaay!

So What's Next??

Good question!

Since the transfer date has been bumped up, so has everything else.  I start my BCP this Saturday, and Lupron injections and estrogen pills (to thicken my uterine lining) on August 29th.  From that date to the transfer date, I will have to have six ultrasounds and blood draws (likely three times a week for two weeks) to ensure my lining is nice and plush and ready to welcome a tiny little visitor!

It has been a looong twenty-three months since we started on this journey to have a baby...a journey full of hoping and worrying, excitement and disappointment, laughs and tears, revelations and prayers.  Now we are finally on what could very possibly be the last leg of the trip to Baby Town, and I am over-the-moon excited to get it underway!

Looking over the past two years, I wouldn't change a single thing about the path that God has led us down; it has brought me so much closer to my Lord and Savior, taught me to fully trust in Him, and made me the person I am today.  But I can't lie, I will be OVERJOYED when this journey comes to an end and we get to look into the eyes of our little miracle!  Eek--I'm getting all warm and fuzzy just thinking about it! :)