Hi guys!
Just popping in to say hey before I run (literally--I'm like a chicken with my head cut off today!) out the door to finish my work day, enjoy an Employee Appreciation lunch at work, and then my hubby and I are leaving for FL to visit my parents for the weekend! Yay! This is a much needed trip, since I haven't seen my Mama in over four months---I'm going through withdrawals! lol I still have her Mother's Day presents to give her! Sheesh! We also get to enjoy time with my Dad (whose birthday was Monday), little brother, and his super sweet girlfriend---I can't wait!
Nothing noteworthy in the baby-making biz. I am looking so forward to getting things underway in August. Only a little less than a month to go before I start the BCP again! And we have our FET consult at the end of this month--eek! I know God's gonna do even bigger things this time, and I can't wait to see what they are!
Alrighty, my allotted blogging time is up--gotta stick to the schedule in order to leave on time! ;) I hope y'all have a wonderful Friday and an even better weekend! Please pray for safe travels as my husband and I make the five hour drive to FL!
Friday, July 13, 2012
Monday, July 9, 2012
Today's Awesome Devotional!
I just read my devotional for the day, and it was so inspiring I just had to share it with you guys!
It's from Jesus Lives by Sarah Young. She writes from Christ's viewpoint, which always makes the messages seem much more personal. Here's an excerpt from today's message:
"When you are going through painful trials, it is tempting to blame Me because you know I have unlimited power to intervene. However, I refrained from using that Power to save Myself from brutal torture and execution. Whenever I allow you to suffer, try to see it as My vote of confidence in you. It's a way of affirming you as a member of My royal family; a co-heir with Me. Call upon Me when you are in the midst of trials, and I will be ever so near you--entering into your suffering. Remember that I allow you to share in My suffering in order that you may also share in My glory."
And here is one of the verses that go along with the devotional: "For consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Him, lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls." (Hebrews 12:3)
Wow. Doesn't that help to change our perspective about the trials He allows us to go through...even just a little?? I know it does mine! If Jesus can live on this earth and endure all of the pain and suffering that He did (for you and I, mind you!), and all while managing to remain righteous and not question God for not delivering Him from it, why can't we?? Our trials may seem like deep wells that we can't find a way out of, but in comparison with what Jesus, the Son of God faced, they look more like tiny puddles!
The point is: there is NOTHING that God can't bring us through. We just have to ask for His help and remain faithful that He will deliver us from our trials, just maybe not in the time frame or in the way we might like! :)
Sunday, July 8, 2012
How My Faith Has Grown
This morning, as I was getting ready for church, I was (once again) overcome by feelings of joy, peace, love, and the knowledge that God is in complete control of my life. I got to thinking about how burdened I felt earlier this year, and how God managed to totally change my heart, mind, and attitude in such a short period of time...actually, during a single church service! I realized that I never really described the events that brought about this change, this sprouting of my faith from a tiny seed, so I couldn't wait to share that with you all!
As I mentioned in one of my first posts, around the time we started seeing Dr T, I was praying often for God's will to be done, and saying that I trusted Him. However, I wasn't giving Him 100% of my trust, nor was I accepting that what He was already doing in my life was His good and perfect will--a life plan that He specifically made me many, many years ago! I was just going along, thinking everything was going to work out the way I wanted it to...you know, since I was being a good Christian and praying about it. Boy, did I get a wake-up call!
This wake-up call came on Friday, April 13th. That was the day our third IUI was cancelled due to poor egg response. This was also the same day that I learned my husband's morphology was very low and our only chance at having a baby might be IVF. When the nurse, Kim, told me all that info, I couldn't help but start to cry. I was thinking, "Just make it to the car and you can let it all out there...", but of course, after taking all of those hormones to grow my follies, I was on the verge on crying any second anyway! Kim said Dr T was out of the office until Monday, but that I could come back in and talk to him about our options, so I numbly made the appointment and retreated to my car all red-nosed and puffy-eyed. As I sat there in my car, bawling my eyes out, all I could think was "IVF can't be our last option. It's expensive. It's time consuming. It's risky. We shouldn't have to go that far...things should have worked by now. God, why haven't You made it work by now??" I was angry at God for making me go through all this treatment, getting our hopes up, and for what? For nothing. At least, this is what I was thinking at the time...I know, shame on me!
I called my mother-in-law on the way home right after my appointment. My parents (down in FL) were working, my husband was working, my friends were all in school or work...I needed someone to talk to, and my sweet MIL always seems to know what to say to brighten my day! She was already aware of the situation and knew I had an appointment that day, so when I called crying, she told me to come straight over and we could talk. I laid it all out for her once I got there, crying like a baby the whole time. I told her I didn't know why God gives some people babies that don't even want them, and then I can't even have one when I want one so very badly--it just wasn't fair! She listened to me and calmed me down, telling me that God had gotten us this far, and that if IVF was what we had to do, then we'd do it. End of story. Man, she's so wise. ;) I felt better just talking to her, and was able to calmly discuss it with my husband later that night. We both decided that we would pray about it over the weekend and talk to Dr T on Monday.
I went to church that Sunday. My husband was on call at work, and although I didn't really feel like going to church when all that was on my mind was this IVF debacle, I really needed to talk to God about how I was feeling.
I had only been to this church a handful of times, but was really enjoying the pastor's preaching style and the worship was amazing. On this particular Sunday, the worship team lifted my spirits with the songs they chose, and I could feel God was working on my heart. Then Pastor Jay started preaching a sermon called "Defeating Your Giants". It was about David and Goliath and how David trusted in God to help him defeat this huge giant, even though the odds were against him. During the service, my MIL kept looking at me and she could tell I was following his every word, soaking up this message that was clearly from God, directed right at lil ole me!
Once the sermon was over, Pastor Jay asked for those struggling to defeat their giants to come up for prayer. My MIL asked me if I would like to go, and although I usually would just pray in my seat, I felt like God was drawing me to the alter. I can't remember the Children's Pastor's name, but he was the one who met me and asked what my need was. I poured my heart out, and then he led me in one of the most heartfelt prayers I have ever heard. This man didn't know me from Adam, but he prayed for me as though I was family, and as though my need was the most important thing on God's To-Do List. He told God that He had put me in this place in my life, only He understood my pain, only He knew what I was going through, and only He could heal this pain. He prayed for God to bless my husband and I, for us to be the parents we desire to be, and for Him to move in my life.
It was, in a word, life-changing. (Well, that technically is two words...but whatever. lol)
During the prayer, my husband's aunt (who is on the prayer team) came over to lay hands on me and pray, too. She didn't know and didn't ask what my need was, and she couldn't even hear what the man was praying about, but she lifted me up to the Lord the best she knew how. I don't know if she knows how much that meant to me, especially on that day when I was so in need of prayer...so Aunt Linda, thank you!
After the service, I felt like a new person. It was like my heart had been opened and the Lord had filled it to the brim with love, peace, and grace! I felt infinitely better having talked to God, laying all my burdens at His feet, and listening to what He had to tell me. I knew then that God was putting my husband and I through this battle for a reason, and that reason was to serve Him. Even though I didn't know what lied ahead, I was going to trust God wholeheartedly and let Him have His way in my life. Later that day, the Lord placed it on my heart that I should tell other people about what we've been through, how He is blessing us through infertility, and how my faith (starting out as small as a mustard seed) is aiding me to use this trial for His glory...and tadah! This blog was started about a week later!
It's amazing to look back and reflect on how much God has grown my faith through all of this. He knew starting out that all those months of trying, all of those pills, ultrasounds, and negative tests, would break me down to the point where I desperately needed to seek His guidance. He was just waiting for me to cry out to Him, to realize that I can't do it alone, and for me to give every part of me to Him. And what's even more amazing is that through all of my questioning God's plan, He stood right there, with open arms, loving me unconditionally. That is the God we serve...how lucky are we??!
As I mentioned in one of my first posts, around the time we started seeing Dr T, I was praying often for God's will to be done, and saying that I trusted Him. However, I wasn't giving Him 100% of my trust, nor was I accepting that what He was already doing in my life was His good and perfect will--a life plan that He specifically made me many, many years ago! I was just going along, thinking everything was going to work out the way I wanted it to...you know, since I was being a good Christian and praying about it. Boy, did I get a wake-up call!
This wake-up call came on Friday, April 13th. That was the day our third IUI was cancelled due to poor egg response. This was also the same day that I learned my husband's morphology was very low and our only chance at having a baby might be IVF. When the nurse, Kim, told me all that info, I couldn't help but start to cry. I was thinking, "Just make it to the car and you can let it all out there...", but of course, after taking all of those hormones to grow my follies, I was on the verge on crying any second anyway! Kim said Dr T was out of the office until Monday, but that I could come back in and talk to him about our options, so I numbly made the appointment and retreated to my car all red-nosed and puffy-eyed. As I sat there in my car, bawling my eyes out, all I could think was "IVF can't be our last option. It's expensive. It's time consuming. It's risky. We shouldn't have to go that far...things should have worked by now. God, why haven't You made it work by now??" I was angry at God for making me go through all this treatment, getting our hopes up, and for what? For nothing. At least, this is what I was thinking at the time...I know, shame on me!
I called my mother-in-law on the way home right after my appointment. My parents (down in FL) were working, my husband was working, my friends were all in school or work...I needed someone to talk to, and my sweet MIL always seems to know what to say to brighten my day! She was already aware of the situation and knew I had an appointment that day, so when I called crying, she told me to come straight over and we could talk. I laid it all out for her once I got there, crying like a baby the whole time. I told her I didn't know why God gives some people babies that don't even want them, and then I can't even have one when I want one so very badly--it just wasn't fair! She listened to me and calmed me down, telling me that God had gotten us this far, and that if IVF was what we had to do, then we'd do it. End of story. Man, she's so wise. ;) I felt better just talking to her, and was able to calmly discuss it with my husband later that night. We both decided that we would pray about it over the weekend and talk to Dr T on Monday.
I went to church that Sunday. My husband was on call at work, and although I didn't really feel like going to church when all that was on my mind was this IVF debacle, I really needed to talk to God about how I was feeling.
I had only been to this church a handful of times, but was really enjoying the pastor's preaching style and the worship was amazing. On this particular Sunday, the worship team lifted my spirits with the songs they chose, and I could feel God was working on my heart. Then Pastor Jay started preaching a sermon called "Defeating Your Giants". It was about David and Goliath and how David trusted in God to help him defeat this huge giant, even though the odds were against him. During the service, my MIL kept looking at me and she could tell I was following his every word, soaking up this message that was clearly from God, directed right at lil ole me!
Once the sermon was over, Pastor Jay asked for those struggling to defeat their giants to come up for prayer. My MIL asked me if I would like to go, and although I usually would just pray in my seat, I felt like God was drawing me to the alter. I can't remember the Children's Pastor's name, but he was the one who met me and asked what my need was. I poured my heart out, and then he led me in one of the most heartfelt prayers I have ever heard. This man didn't know me from Adam, but he prayed for me as though I was family, and as though my need was the most important thing on God's To-Do List. He told God that He had put me in this place in my life, only He understood my pain, only He knew what I was going through, and only He could heal this pain. He prayed for God to bless my husband and I, for us to be the parents we desire to be, and for Him to move in my life.
It was, in a word, life-changing. (Well, that technically is two words...but whatever. lol)
During the prayer, my husband's aunt (who is on the prayer team) came over to lay hands on me and pray, too. She didn't know and didn't ask what my need was, and she couldn't even hear what the man was praying about, but she lifted me up to the Lord the best she knew how. I don't know if she knows how much that meant to me, especially on that day when I was so in need of prayer...so Aunt Linda, thank you!
After the service, I felt like a new person. It was like my heart had been opened and the Lord had filled it to the brim with love, peace, and grace! I felt infinitely better having talked to God, laying all my burdens at His feet, and listening to what He had to tell me. I knew then that God was putting my husband and I through this battle for a reason, and that reason was to serve Him. Even though I didn't know what lied ahead, I was going to trust God wholeheartedly and let Him have His way in my life. Later that day, the Lord placed it on my heart that I should tell other people about what we've been through, how He is blessing us through infertility, and how my faith (starting out as small as a mustard seed) is aiding me to use this trial for His glory...and tadah! This blog was started about a week later!
It's amazing to look back and reflect on how much God has grown my faith through all of this. He knew starting out that all those months of trying, all of those pills, ultrasounds, and negative tests, would break me down to the point where I desperately needed to seek His guidance. He was just waiting for me to cry out to Him, to realize that I can't do it alone, and for me to give every part of me to Him. And what's even more amazing is that through all of my questioning God's plan, He stood right there, with open arms, loving me unconditionally. That is the God we serve...how lucky are we??!
Friday, July 6, 2012
The Weekend Has Arrived!
TGIF!
Not much going on since we're awaiting our consult and for things to get crack-a-lack-in in about a month, but I just wanted to drop by and wish you all a great weekend! Hope you all stay safe, stay cool (this heat is killer!), and enjoy your loved ones!
God bless!
Not much going on since we're awaiting our consult and for things to get crack-a-lack-in in about a month, but I just wanted to drop by and wish you all a great weekend! Hope you all stay safe, stay cool (this heat is killer!), and enjoy your loved ones!
God bless!
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Our FET Schedule
I made it! I made it through the looooong nine day work week! To celebrate keeping my sanity, my hubby and I got to enjoy a yummy dinner out last night (I love our date nights!), and then a day out on the boat today with his mom...perfection! Now that I'm refreshed, it's time to go back to work. The next two days are going to be quite busy, but then I have the whole beautiful weekend to look forward to! I think there is some mindless TV watching, sun bathing, reading, and napping in my future...:)
Now, I promised I would update everyone on our FET schedule, so here it is!
-July 30th @2:45pm: FET consult with Dr T, where we sign more consents and fork over more money. (Even though it's an additional cost, here's a praiseworthy tidbit of info: we received a small credit back from the initial IVF cost since we never did the transfer, so this will be put towards the cost of the FET. And overall, the FET cost is only 1/3 of the IVF cost---can we say "PTL"?!)
-August 11th-28th: BCP
-Starting sometime the last week of BCP: Lupron injections (luckily, these are the ones that SUPPRESS my ovaries and not stimulate them! Whew!)
-These will last until the week of September 17th, in order to keep my body from ovulating before the transfer...can you imagine that?? If I ovulated and somehow conceived (that would definitely be a miracle--but it can happen!) at the same time I had two embryos transplanted?? Holy schnikies! That would be a-maz-ing, but I don't think we want three or four babies at once!
-September 20th OR 21st: TRANSFER DAY!! They will thaw out a few of our embies the night before, so there is a chance that some of them may not make it and that could affect the transfer date. But we're going to stay positive, stay faithful, and know that God is totally and 100% in control!
-Progesterone injections will start again the day of the transfer and will last until either we receive a BFN or until the start of the second trimester. I have to admit, I have not missed these shots...and neither has my poor bum! lol But if I have to take a shot in the tush everyday for twelve weeks in order to help my baby grow, that's what I'm gonna do!
-The first few days after the transfer I will be on modified bedrest, just so those babies have a chance to implant and get all cozy for the long ride ahead! I will take the day of the transfer off (either a Thursday or Friday) and then use that weekend to relax and focus on God's little miracle that will be going on in my body!
-October 1st or 2nd (depending on the transfer date): the official pregnancy test!! They will draw my blood some time in the morning, and by the early afternoon, we should know something! This will surely be one of the longest days our lives, but I will constantly be praying for God's perfect plan to unfold, so that will help pass the time and keep me focused!
So that's it in a nut shell! We are more than excited for this part of the process--it's been a long time coming! Even though things have been stretched out longer than expected, we know without a shadow of a doubt that God's will is being done, and that He will continue to bless us and use us, no matter what the outcome! All I can do is praise Him for what He's done and what He's going to do: "Who is like You among the gods, O Lord? Who is like You, majestic in holiness, awesome in praises, and working wonders?" (Exodus 15:11) :)
Now, I promised I would update everyone on our FET schedule, so here it is!
-July 30th @2:45pm: FET consult with Dr T, where we sign more consents and fork over more money. (Even though it's an additional cost, here's a praiseworthy tidbit of info: we received a small credit back from the initial IVF cost since we never did the transfer, so this will be put towards the cost of the FET. And overall, the FET cost is only 1/3 of the IVF cost---can we say "PTL"?!)
-August 11th-28th: BCP
-Starting sometime the last week of BCP: Lupron injections (luckily, these are the ones that SUPPRESS my ovaries and not stimulate them! Whew!)
-These will last until the week of September 17th, in order to keep my body from ovulating before the transfer...can you imagine that?? If I ovulated and somehow conceived (that would definitely be a miracle--but it can happen!) at the same time I had two embryos transplanted?? Holy schnikies! That would be a-maz-ing, but I don't think we want three or four babies at once!
-September 20th OR 21st: TRANSFER DAY!! They will thaw out a few of our embies the night before, so there is a chance that some of them may not make it and that could affect the transfer date. But we're going to stay positive, stay faithful, and know that God is totally and 100% in control!
-Progesterone injections will start again the day of the transfer and will last until either we receive a BFN or until the start of the second trimester. I have to admit, I have not missed these shots...and neither has my poor bum! lol But if I have to take a shot in the tush everyday for twelve weeks in order to help my baby grow, that's what I'm gonna do!
-The first few days after the transfer I will be on modified bedrest, just so those babies have a chance to implant and get all cozy for the long ride ahead! I will take the day of the transfer off (either a Thursday or Friday) and then use that weekend to relax and focus on God's little miracle that will be going on in my body!
-October 1st or 2nd (depending on the transfer date): the official pregnancy test!! They will draw my blood some time in the morning, and by the early afternoon, we should know something! This will surely be one of the longest days our lives, but I will constantly be praying for God's perfect plan to unfold, so that will help pass the time and keep me focused!
So that's it in a nut shell! We are more than excited for this part of the process--it's been a long time coming! Even though things have been stretched out longer than expected, we know without a shadow of a doubt that God's will is being done, and that He will continue to bless us and use us, no matter what the outcome! All I can do is praise Him for what He's done and what He's going to do: "Who is like You among the gods, O Lord? Who is like You, majestic in holiness, awesome in praises, and working wonders?" (Exodus 15:11) :)
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